Lament

The real take on my life since I was 7...

Present-Tensity

Shell of encased function falsity. Seek faded footing in grey-space;
Knee-deep-waves, tearing life of disbelief;
[years lost.]
Gone.

Violence in raging release. Hate reveals truth; replace ruthless injustice.
Passion knows pain in righteousness-breeding sin;
Skies burnt beyond brightest star. Uncover love's fall. Shine on eyes close so tight;
Contortion of fair-weathered-faith-everlasting;
Failing recurrent.
Held.
Gone.

Sun rises toward light; disregard black while hands immerse in thickness;
[Lost remorse. Trust. Speak.]
Recede within; glass stare at memories past. See through brick and bone;
fooling analysis; degree of fools judging blind.
Solidify denial in time. Awake to beginning of newest end.
Empty Space. Nothing. Emotion retreating. Regard-standing; Venture involuntary dance of uncomfort.
Starlit glare blinding encased rage. Obsess to fulfill racing storm. Foundation of laughing cries;
Return.
[So young.]
Gone.

Vivid vulnerability. Scream silence at present-tensity suffering indifference;
indifference in paralysis.
Tear from dark to light; light becomes dark. Fear sunset to fire of Heaven earth-bound.
Desire new. Breathe ending. Covered.
[SURGE. COLD. WHITE.]
Gone.

:--:

Trials base lies. Walking rope so fine. Torn. Unravel insecurity.
Outside lost. Shadows; ghosts in awe of chaos. Driven over - down to darkest mirrored calm.
Love knows no time.
Exist in chronic negotiation.
Upset in thought never-lasting.
[Out.]
Gone.

Back. Straight-forward. Riddled in clarity. Held drowning over-head.
Reach out to breathless wonder. Blues, Reds, Greens. Feel so real. Shades drawn long to short.
Curious; Careful; Concealed.
Surrender to life's punishment.
Moments harbor days;
Seconds for feeling greatness.
Glory. Lost.
--Gone.--

You are already famous!
Furious with vision,
nerves crashed upon
hot sharp wordlanes -
reach!

Reach with your bones, your breath, your blood.
Open and explode...

This is ancient.

Honesty is the answer you seek;
you are here to tell the truth -
as best you can.

Moan, mourn, cry the walls away.
Shout glee, dance to keep from
not dancing.
Run in the fields, sing the world's glory, behold
all mystery. Stretch, feel knots unravel, bless
your pain. Chant freedom, god.
You are not alone. Love,
love,
love to keep warm.

Medicine
is a gag for this stuff, and
a damp, dirty blanket, and
sometimes - for better or
worse - a minderaser.
If you want to escape your straightjacket,
follow your voice into the world. It is
your blessing, no matter
how many teachers
and doctors
tell you
It's a curse.

Learn more about my condition...
http://www.pediatricneurology.com/tics.htm
Thankful for friends and family who understand and support me now... Most importantly, God, seeing me through past and present years of ridicule...

You don't know how to miss being normal, you were never really that in the 1st place.




Release... I talk with God and pray and never cease...