They Say It's Wonderful
The confusing thing with this week is I don't know whether things are picking up or am I just oblivious to the changes that are taking place around me... Ever since I came here I've been having this vibe of thinking before you do anything... now only problem with that is... If you take such a long time to think you end up looking retarded... Wasting time besides...
The monotony of University life is beginning to get to me... Even with every other great jazz musician's overwhelming talent and inspiration that surrounds me... I never thought I'd see the day I say this... With so many idioms in the jazz lexicon to draw upon, I've begun to feel musically dry... AGAIN... Is this a sign of mental fatigue? Or sheer boredom?
Strangely enough, people seem to think differently... So I play incredibly fast, transpose most songs at sight, got a good grasp of music theory, play several other instruments competently, have a nice touch on the piano, have perfect pitch, transcribe fast, play piano backwards (I find that stupid), write songs, memorise loads of songs... So what... There are many other things I can't do... I don't have excellent rhythm, my metric modulation is totally off, I RARELY practice, I can't play Latin for nuts, I have a penchant for falling back to diatonic scalic figures which shows my lack of inspiration, I never truly listen when I jam with people, I don't teach well, I can't write well structured academic essays and I find it terribly hard to articulate my thoughts when asked certain music questions...
Yet even with this list of things I can do, I find it amusing how so many people succumb to many cliche assumptions... You play fantastic, therefore you can teach me... you can transcribe fast, therefore you must be some sort of musical genius... you have perfect pitch... therefore you're a freak... you can play too many instruments well for your age... therefore you're a monster... I've heard the words, "This guy is CRAZY!!!" far too many times... Word gets around fast in the music world... I think... It's amazing how overrated someone can be... ask me something like, "So what kinda scale do you use over a Cm7b5b9#13?" and I reply with, "huh?" "What was that nice motivic thing when you were playing that free jazz piece?" "I was just playing nonsense, for goodness sake it's free jazz, just play man" "Can you teach me how to improvise by encircling the chord tones?" "I dunno, I'm still learning that myself" "But you were doing it just now" "Was I?, Ok" My point exactly...
Does this mean by me telling you this that I'm arrogant, selfish and maybe pseudo-perfectionist? I hope not... I don't intend for it to be that way... I'm like any one else in this world... I just choose to spend my time exploring music in depth instead of socialising... It's a conditioning of the mind... If I told you I was tone deaf when I was young you guys probably won't believe me... I'm human... I have needs and I haven't really vocalised them in public all my life so I'm doing it now... All I want is to give you a clearer understanding of why I tire of people asking me questions about music almost everyday... and why I may be distant at times I reply... I'm exhausted of living up to people's expectations of me... yes, I get insecure!!!
Case in point, I was at a jam session 2 days ago... Sunday night... chose not to jam and people were shocked... I get comments like, "The monster is staying home tonight", "You feel INSECURE?!", "I wish I was good enough to feel insecure", "Seriously dude, you're not overrated, I know what I heard" and I'm like for the love of everything sane, GIMME A BREAK!!!
I'm firstly, a STUDENT in Middlesex University... Yes, I do gigs and teach on the side... but I'm here for one fundamental reason... I'm here to LEARN... have I really been doing that? No, ever since halfway through term, the learning curve has reached a plateau...
Please understand I'm not here to show off... if you get that impression then you're wrong... saying that I'm venting becomes passe... so take this as sortta a statement instead... whether it stirs up emotions in you or not, that's your personal opinion and I respect that... You don't have to agree with me... This is what I've lived with ever since music became a major part of my life... Not that I'm not grateful for God's blessings... Anyway, someone's messaging me now so I have to go... probably asking about tritone substitution... sigh... back to reality...
Facade, Charade and Masquerade...
The monotony of University life is beginning to get to me... Even with every other great jazz musician's overwhelming talent and inspiration that surrounds me... I never thought I'd see the day I say this... With so many idioms in the jazz lexicon to draw upon, I've begun to feel musically dry... AGAIN... Is this a sign of mental fatigue? Or sheer boredom?
Strangely enough, people seem to think differently... So I play incredibly fast, transpose most songs at sight, got a good grasp of music theory, play several other instruments competently, have a nice touch on the piano, have perfect pitch, transcribe fast, play piano backwards (I find that stupid), write songs, memorise loads of songs... So what... There are many other things I can't do... I don't have excellent rhythm, my metric modulation is totally off, I RARELY practice, I can't play Latin for nuts, I have a penchant for falling back to diatonic scalic figures which shows my lack of inspiration, I never truly listen when I jam with people, I don't teach well, I can't write well structured academic essays and I find it terribly hard to articulate my thoughts when asked certain music questions...
Yet even with this list of things I can do, I find it amusing how so many people succumb to many cliche assumptions... You play fantastic, therefore you can teach me... you can transcribe fast, therefore you must be some sort of musical genius... you have perfect pitch... therefore you're a freak... you can play too many instruments well for your age... therefore you're a monster... I've heard the words, "This guy is CRAZY!!!" far too many times... Word gets around fast in the music world... I think... It's amazing how overrated someone can be... ask me something like, "So what kinda scale do you use over a Cm7b5b9#13?" and I reply with, "huh?" "What was that nice motivic thing when you were playing that free jazz piece?" "I was just playing nonsense, for goodness sake it's free jazz, just play man" "Can you teach me how to improvise by encircling the chord tones?" "I dunno, I'm still learning that myself" "But you were doing it just now" "Was I?, Ok" My point exactly...
Does this mean by me telling you this that I'm arrogant, selfish and maybe pseudo-perfectionist? I hope not... I don't intend for it to be that way... I'm like any one else in this world... I just choose to spend my time exploring music in depth instead of socialising... It's a conditioning of the mind... If I told you I was tone deaf when I was young you guys probably won't believe me... I'm human... I have needs and I haven't really vocalised them in public all my life so I'm doing it now... All I want is to give you a clearer understanding of why I tire of people asking me questions about music almost everyday... and why I may be distant at times I reply... I'm exhausted of living up to people's expectations of me... yes, I get insecure!!!
Case in point, I was at a jam session 2 days ago... Sunday night... chose not to jam and people were shocked... I get comments like, "The monster is staying home tonight", "You feel INSECURE?!", "I wish I was good enough to feel insecure", "Seriously dude, you're not overrated, I know what I heard" and I'm like for the love of everything sane, GIMME A BREAK!!!
I'm firstly, a STUDENT in Middlesex University... Yes, I do gigs and teach on the side... but I'm here for one fundamental reason... I'm here to LEARN... have I really been doing that? No, ever since halfway through term, the learning curve has reached a plateau...
Please understand I'm not here to show off... if you get that impression then you're wrong... saying that I'm venting becomes passe... so take this as sortta a statement instead... whether it stirs up emotions in you or not, that's your personal opinion and I respect that... You don't have to agree with me... This is what I've lived with ever since music became a major part of my life... Not that I'm not grateful for God's blessings... Anyway, someone's messaging me now so I have to go... probably asking about tritone substitution... sigh... back to reality...
Facade, Charade and Masquerade...
posted by Jordan at 8:00 pm
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